Don't face the monster alone

What should you do when you don't know what to to? You should always turn to others
in times of need. I learned the hard way that people are always around whether you
know it or not. I spent my sophomore year being teased and bullied about my diabetes
along with several other things. I thought I had no one to turn to, and I thought I had to
deal with it on my own. The result was me waking up in the hospital with no memory of
the past 4 days. I had parents, friends, siblings, doctors, endless people to turn to, but
because I didn't even try to reach out to anyone I almost lost all of them. Don't let
yourself think that you have to always deal with things alone. There are always people
to talk to even if you've been made to believe that you're alone. Never let it be too late
for you to talk to someone. I know what it's like to think that no one will listen to you, or
that they'll laugh at you. But always know that someone's there to walk you through
what you're going through. Whether its diabetes related or not, you should talk to
someone about your problems because it could cause effect your diabetes. Talking
about your problems is the best thing you could do, even if you don't want to.

Stressing the Diabetes Monster

Let me introduce you to a word called "stress". We all deal with it no matter who you
are. Diabetes and stress are eternal enemies. Whether its good stress, or bad stress.
Now, I don't know how it is for everybody, but for me, when I'm super excited or happy,
my blood sugars skyrocket. On the other hand, when I'm upset or angry, I get low blood
sugars. We can't make our diabetes cooperate with stress, but we can notice signs so
that we can at least tell when our attitude might be getting out of control. This kind of
connects with the last 2 posts. Attitude is everything. If you get stressed and you have a
high blood sugar what do you do? In most circumstances you would probably snap at
someone or make an unnecessary comment. And sometimes people will understand
that you have trouble with stress and diabetes, but not everyone will be that
understanding. What you need to do is realize when you start feeling kind of agitated
and either check your blood sugars because you might need a little insulin, or just kind
of pull someone aside and say, "You know, when I get stressed my diabetes goes a little
out of control and my attitude gets a little sour," but don't let your mouth or actions get
the best of you. The Diabetes Monster is a wild beast and like I said, we can't tame it,
but we can learn to work around it.

Me? Angry??

So, you know that little thing that hides in the back of our minds just waiting to burst out at any moment?  Yep, that's right.  I'm talking about anger, frustration, irritation, whatever you wanna call it.  Now, with diabetes you may find that you experience this feeling more often than most people do.  But, no worries!  You don't have anger issues, you are completely normal.  I'm not gonna go through the whole diabetes education about why it happened because if you have diabetes you know why it happens.  I'm just gonna give you a personal example of what could happen, and then a way to prevent or solve it.

One good example of what can happen with a high blood sugar is Lying.  Not because you like to do it, but it might get someone off your back quicker.  One time, my Mom had asked me where my little sister was.  Now, I knew where she was and could have explained and stuff, but it was easier to just say I don't know, or anything.  So my response was, "Don't know, don't care."  I didn't really understand why it was so important, but now that I look back on it: what if she was hurt, or needed help.  So I suffered the consequences and by that I mean I got a pop on the mouth and an early bedtime.

Lying can apply to our diabetes care too.  Sometimes I think about how it could have been different if I would have kept better check on my diabetes.  I'm not here to pester you about diabetes care, I'm here to tell you that diabetes care could save your life.  I know by experience that bad care can land you on your death bed with your mom wondering if she will ever see  your eyes open again.  With your dad pacing the hospital hallways wishing that you would just wake up and show him that smile that he tells you he loves.  Or even just your friends, wondering why it's been 5 days since you talked to them and no one can tell them what happened.  You don't want to wake up from a 4 day coma to see your family so broken that every word out of your mouth is a blessing to them, and at the same time an ever lasting reminder that you shouldn't be here.  So, when you feel that little thing bursting out, stop and check your blood sugars, it might just save your life.

Illusion of Control

The Diabetes Monster is a blog centered around my experiences with diabetes, be it good, bad, or ugly, and then giving advice or solutions to either help others avoid them, or work through similar situations.

One of the not so pleasant experiences that can happen (I have experienced several of these) is a low blood sugar seizure.  Now, I'm not going to tell you that you can prevent this every time but, it is possible to try.  One thing that everyone should do, is to keep a good check on your blood sugars.  I'm sure everyone with diabetes hears that more times than they can count but, it really does help.

I can't say that I spend everyday making sure I have perfect control because, first of all, no one can "control" diabetes.  You can keep check of it but, you can't control it.  Second of all, everyone has things that distract them.  Some days I keep better watch than others but, everyone will miss a blood sugar or a shot/bolus at least once in a while.

A lot of times we feel put down because a parent of a child with diabetes will brag about how well kept the child's diabetes is.  They will tell you that their kid has never been in the hospital, blah blah blah.  I don't know one person with diabetes who has never visited the hospital even once.  It just happens.  I like to think that Diabetes has a mind of it's own.

What I really want people to grasp is that no matter what, things can go wrong, and maybe we can't completely  control it but, we can control ourselves which will contribute to better care.  Don't let people's attitudes wear you down.  Keep you head held high and remember that people can say things that might upset you but, chances are they either don't understand or they are just jealous.  And ... jealousy is an ugly trait.

The Monster Revealed

When we're little, we learn to fear the monsters we can't see like the monster under the bed, and the monster lurking in the shadows of our closet. On January 21st of 2005, I learned to fear the Diabetes Monster. Most people will tell you that there are bigger monsters out there, but if we don't see the monster or feel it, how are we to fear it? Another thing we must learn is that The Diabetes Monster is a beast that cannot be tamed nor controlled, but it is also not a thing we must fear. To fear this monster is to shelter yourself from changes you could make in the world. Every person has the potential to become something greater than they ever imagined; you just have to overcome your fears and accept your differences. We are not "Diabetics", we are creative individuals who happened to become acquainted with, The Diabetes Monster.